Sunday, April 26, 2015

A Storm is Brewing in my Heart

Wow, every time I turn around lately, the truth is getting in my face. What do I mean by that? Well, I have been pretty lackadaisical about my spiritual life. I have been busy living day to day and haven't made the time to really read my Bible. I pray every day, but even that isn't what it could be.

Having said all that, I have been meditating a lot on what my Pastor's have been teaching. We have been covering I John at church and wow, I am remembering why it is so important to be in God's Word on a daily basis. When I say a storm is brewing in my heart, I can feel myself reaching a point where I quit making excuses and start living this life the way I am meant to. I distract myself with a lot of junk. I forget to worship the One who made me, who saved me, who loves me more than anyone. I give Him a half a loaf, instead of my whole heart way too often.

Time to change, to learn and grow and quit being okay with just getting by. A life worth living is one that is fixed on Christ, without shame, or fear or worry about what others think about me. I have this feeling that if I really embrace who I am in Him and let go of all the garbage I fill my life and head with, that the person I am now will be gone and the person I am meant to be will finally step up and step out and bring Him glory and truly be a blessing to those around me.

A Storm is Brewing in my Heart and I say let the storm rage and wash away all that doesn't belong.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

It has been a while since I have posted. Life has been full of remodeling some of our house, taking care of medical needs with my Diabetes, and being a full-time student and working through my courses. I could share with you the drama of our remodeling, of which there has been a lot, but will forego that as it really is pitiful and sad. For today, I will share with you something I have been thinking about a lot.

What goes on in my head space if often trivial, sometimes foolish and every once in a while profitable for me spiritually. I recently heard a teaching on how as a follower of Christ I am indwelt by the Holy Spirit. I know this. The Bible teaches this and I believe it. I fail to remember it often enough, and I can tell because of many of the things I think about like God doesn't see it all! If I were living like God can see my every thought I would be far more thoughtful about what is in my head space. It is causing me to evaluate my life, my activities, and what is causing me to have my mind filled with all the garbage that really needs to be cleaned up.

If you are reading this and you don't belong to Jesus, well what I just said might unsettle or offend you. I make no apologies for my faith, and if you don't like what I share, well you are free to not read my meanderings. I hope you stick around though because maybe I will share something that you are glad you stayed around and took the time to read.

Moving on, I liken my mind to what it is supposed to be, a place where a Holy God can live in without worrying about my garbage. Unfortunately that is not my mind, and a lot of the time its not my heart. I struggle every blasted day with...well...me. I am my own problem. I am really glad my salvation doesn't depend on me or I would be in big trouble. I am assured that I have been given a new heart and a new mind, but I am battling with the old one. That which I am holding on to in this battle is God, He is faithful. I know that He will not ever give up on me. The fact that I am bothered by the garbage in my mind and Him having to live there in the midst of it is a good sign that there is hope for me. One day at a time, one moment at a time, I will plug along and pray that this doesn't get forgotten in the busy of life. That way maybe one day I will come in here and share a greater victory than I am experiencing now.